Another Story

Wait...
I got the story!
Here it goes
Their names are Cozbi and Corbi (I think I have ever heard that name before, but don't worry (just like she always said to me) it will be okay)
Cozbi is Corbi's friend. They are close enough. They support each other (I don't know, I have no references about this one)
and me? me is the supporting character who always wants to be seen in any scene (perhaps)

In some day :
"I don't think I can't make it, I hesitate for this one" said Cozbi
(Me crying)
Oh noooo! Don't be worried! I always do that, that's why people recognize me as the weak and sensitive one.

The time flies
Yay! The time won't stop for any reason!
(I hate why I can't be God!)
But time is not to blame!
Nothing is not to blame, anyway

I'm scared! scared of the day
The day when I have to let go
It seems like the dagger just stabs in your chest
and you're bleeding, you are in pain, you are screaming inside,
but the only feeling you do feel is just emptiness
It would be empty!
Do you feel that? huh? Do you?
when I want to cry all I can do is just going to the bathroom
and crying and screaming out loud, so that nobody would hear you in pain
nobody would see you crying
because nobody would understand!
Do you hear me? I'M IN PAIN!
It's useless anyway, Cozbi would never listen.

Do you have to sacrifice your happiness for the other happiness's sake?
That's what I'm doing right now!
Everything needs sacrifice, eh?




"I'm sorry Maddy"
Corbi said to me

Welcome Morning!

I welcome you morning...
With these weak eyes seeing, with these hands typing, with these ears listening to the music.
Unfortunately
I'm trapped in the dark room with so many dead stuffs
My head is banging here and there with uncertain feelings
I know something, the balloon just goes up
Pumped up by music and it sets my mood instantaneously

Finally I'm crying for something unsure

I dont know, I just want to hit the hay
and dream of you
Start the day with the sun shining
and I? will be smiling
all day

Ohh... Functional Grammar

This book entitled "Making Sense of Functional Grammar"
The first time I bought and saw the book, I wondered why the title should put the phrase "Making Sense"?
Is this book non-sense?
Or... Is the Subject non-sense?
Or... what?
Slow but sure I learn the subject very carefully, why? because THIS SUBJECT IS REALLY REALLY NON-SENSE!!!
So, no wonder if Gerot and Wignell tried to make sense the subject. -__-"

err.. I should be thankful so much for you both! thank you, really I do.

It is indeed really true, theory without practicing is nothing and the reverse.
Maybe that is one of the reasons why my lecturer gives us so many assignments that should be compiled by tomorrow.
*Tepok jidat

K! MAM! K!

with this weak body and soul, I will try to do my best!!!
*FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Ahh Forget! tomorrow is the last class. *sedih oge

Karenamu...

Is this what you want, mum?
See your little daughter crying over night for something you dont really know?
See your little sunshine burying herself alive for something you are not really sure?

Good mother...

You have chosen the best choice for your little sunshine to die
Not by choking, shooting, or giving your little daughter a poison.
By this way, you have killed your lovely daughter inside.
You steal your precious daughter's life.
Do you know what 'life' means for your little sunshine?
Do you know that?
Can you feel what your little flower feel?

Do you know that your little daughter hates you so much now?

Because of this?

Sometimes, there is a thing you dont have to know
Sometimes, It is me who know what is right or what is wrong.

It is too late
"Mah, aku sudah mati, aku tak punya hidup lagi, hidupku sudah pergi..
iya..... karenamu"

"If you want me to change, well I change for good"

Kini, lagi.
Kembali kurajut benang kusut dalam lara.
Kembali berada pada aku yang salah.
Kembali mencoba berubah walau sudah menyerah.

Hey kamu, aku tau kamu cinta bebas
kamu tau aku cinta kamu?
Tapi sudah seharusnya cintaku bukan alasan
alasan kamu menjadi tidak cinta bebas

"If you want me to change, well I change for good"

Biarkan aku yang sakit

Biarkan aku terus menangis

Biarkan aku terus menahan perih

dan...

Biarkan aku belajar

Belajar mengikhlaskanmu

Hingga pada akhirnya

Aku benar-benar bisa melepasmu

tanpa luka...

Aku pernah sepertimu...

Aku pernah menjalani transisi seperti itu
Aku pernah dimana aku berada dalam lubang besar hingga tak temukan sedikitpun cahaya
Aku pernah mengalami titik terendah dalam hidupku
Aku pernah ketika aku memutuskan untuk berubah saja
Aku pernah tidak peduli dengan diriku dan perasaanku
Aku pernah tidak hiraukan wejangan-wejangan para sahabat dan ibuku
Aku pernah tak mau raih tangan-tangan yang berusaha menolongku
Aku pernah menolak berbagai hati yang tulus untuk mencintaiku
Aku pernah berada dalam kelam namun tetap saja hidup

Hey! Aku pernah sepertimu...

Namun kini, aku akan selalu menjadi sepertiku
Aku hanya punya satu kesempatan hidup
dan yang aku mau?
Aku mau menjadi sepertiku
Hanya itu.

Just... Dont let me go

"Never Say Never"
The Fray

Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Picture, you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
To steady your hand

You can never say never
While we don't know when
Time, time, time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

  

Taken from : www.azlyrics.com

By the time I write this, I am doing my assignment. I have to finish this essay and submit it tomorrow morning.

Accompanied by Ria (My laptop), Gradi (my cellphone), Pinkah and Monyooot (my notebook), Ori (my Oxford Dictionary), a piece of copy entitled "The House on Mango Street", an empty glass of milk, a song by The Fray "Never say Never", and the last is your virtual.

I feel that I have many distraction to do this essay. I haven't finished it yet, I am distracted by blogging. I just want to write what I feel. now I feel like I dont want to write the essay, and I prefer blogging to essay-ing << maksakeun.

Hmm, maybe you can read the lyric of The Fray above, that's what I feel right now.

Your virtual is just not enough, I never can't get enough.

I need the real you to complete this hole digging on me.

Oh ya, talking about the essay I should write more or less 250-300 words. and I have reached 131 words, and I'm afraid I write too much, because once I write, I just can't stop it. Moreover I still got many idea I want to put it into, Goddamnit! what am I supposed to do? err... just write, dont lose your idea, write it down quickly! suddenly remember a tissue from J.co << FYI I LOVE THIS ONE! REALLY!

Tssaaaaah!!! I wish I could reach you wherever you are!

".....And just hold the smile, falling in and out of love...."